Aug. 10th, 2012

  • 7:07 PM
pridefall: (But that would make sense | Spider-man)
 When it rains, it pours.

I'm currently sitting at 9 credits because my department is filled with incompetent drama queens, and this means that I may lose my scholarship if someone in the student finance department actually does their job for once and checks over my matriculated classes.

Lovely.

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Jul. 30th, 2012

  • 7:15 PM
pridefall: (the fox with no hound | Gin)
 I LIVE ONCE AGAIN.

This is to say, everything is going great. Things are good. The summer was a little bit hard and strange, but I got over it. I'm in a loving, committed relationship, I'm writing every day, and I'm graduating college at the end of the year. Life is amazing.

My mother may not want to speak to me, but for the first time in a long, long time -- I don't care. Let her live her life the way she wants to. I am deeply saddened that she would chose her own ego over her son, but there's nothing I can do to help her anymore.

Life goes on.

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Jul. 11th, 2012

  • 1:01 PM
pridefall: (But that would make sense | Spider-man)
 Relationships are hard.

I forgot that somewhere along the line.

Oh well.

Things are good on my end, but I'm starting to dread the end of the summer.

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Jun. 23rd, 2012

  • 2:12 AM
pridefall: (fml intensely | Naota)
a short poem )




help, help. i've seen someone in a dream and fallen in love again.

Jun. 18th, 2012

  • 2:02 AM
pridefall: (Truest Words Ever Spoken | Anis Mojgani)

6/17/2012

No Father; No Fathers
I have no father.
That word is much too small,
Is far too narrow to describe,
The kings that raised me.

It is a word weighted in experience;
A combination of six letters with infinite definitions;
My fathers were athletes and businessmen;
They taught me to run, jump, and climb,
And sat my ass down to practice writing and arithmetic.

They were video-gamers and storytellers who stayed up all night with me;
Whether we were counting stars and telling ghost stories,
Or sitting around talking about nothing with a beer in hand;
These men taught me what it was to be a man.

 They were soldiers and mad geniuses,
Doctors and role models onto themselves;
I may have climbed mountains and rooftops without them,
But never once I have felt as tall as I was when seated on their shoulders.

My fathers raised me to believe in very simple truths,
And in my life I have done my best to live by them.
You love those around you without asking for anything in return;
Speak truthfully and strong, without s-s-stuttering or screaming,
Because even the most smallest, most quiet voice,
Is like the voice of God when spoken with conviction.

You fight for what you believe in, even if the mob thinks its wrong,
Even if the world tells you that you're insane,
That you must change to fit their example,
You plant yourself firmly and say:
This is who I am,
This is who I was raised to be,
And I will not sell myself short for anybody.

I was raised to believe that anything was possible,
That nothing, not even myself,
Could get in my way.
And I am still fighting this fight,
I am still here, still breathing,
Still living up to the giants that made me,
And in them I am finding the will to carry on.

I have no fathers,
But I do have a Dad,
And I do have a Papi,
Because father is just too small a word,
To describe the men who raised me.

May. 5th, 2012

  • 1:42 AM
i will never make an appropriate entry.
  • still fretting about what i want in life
  • finals are in three or two weeks idefk
  • rping is fun
  • miss having a paid account for my main, though
  • I lost my wallet this week so i had to cancel everything and get new things.
  • Luckily I hoard important shit so i only lost cards and my ids
  • i have ~feelings~ that may need to be addressed with a certain someone i don't want to address them with
  • figured out that my gpa was actually missing .30 points due to the system of gpa tracking the college has
  • had a tiff with a teacher over a test a few weeks ago because, and I quote: You turned in answers that even a fifth grader wouldn'tve. I don't feel insulted, but you should.
  • She was a Spanish teacher.
  • I don't give a fuck.
  • Writing a little bit every day, or trying to.
Comics and shit
  • Amazing spider-man continues to never disappoint. Ends of the Earth is the shit.
  • X-men and AoX is disappointing as hell. Namor losing to anyone underwater = ultimate bullshit
  • Playing Dragon Age 2 and loving it. Playing Fallout 3 and loving it.
  • No time to read because of FINALS.

May. 3rd, 2012

  • 6:24 AM
pridefall: (Only Data Streams | Tron)
Am I a terrible person for wanting to have my cake and eat it, too?

Or am I simply not meant to ever be happy with one thing.

Greed is what it is, plain and simple.

Stupid, selfish greed.

I want what I shouldn't want, and have what every man should dream about.

She's what feels like my soul-mate; the girl I want to marry and have kids with someday.

But I don't think I can be tied down.

I don't think -- it feels like I don't want to be tied down.

I read a book by Warren Ellis once, where one of the characters described herself as a dog. She said something like: "I love you, I truly do. But you can't tie me down. I won't let you. The most I can promise is that I'll come home every night, no matter how far I wander."

And it sounds so stupid when I say it outside my head.

But I think she might be right.

This isn't poetry.

It was greed. We talked, we cried and yelled and she hit me at one point, but we're good now. Stronger than ever. I wouldn't trade her for anything else in the world.

Apr. 23rd, 2012

  • 7:40 PM
Either I just gave 20$ to a guy who really needed it...or I walked a mile out of my way to give 20$ to a junkie so he wouldn't mug me.

Good times.

TO ELABORATE: SO THIS GUY COMES UP TO ME ON MY WAY HOME FROM CLASS AND IS ALL LIKE

sup

And I have my headphones on so I'm like "Yeah okay hey dude."

But he keeps talking, and then matches my step and keeps talking to me homg so I'm like okay dude what do you want? And he starts telling me this sob story about his pregnant wife and how he normally would ask a friend for money in times like this but...

And I'm like whatever, dude. And I keep walking! But then he insists by saying look I'll give you my license or my phone number so you can know I'm totally legit, come on let's do this. So i relent because whatever I don't want to start a fight and he leads me to...like a mile out of my way...and says that he wants to go buy bread and shit at a market where they know him, cuz he can get a discount there.

I follow him up until the point where I stop seeing a lot of people around, and then he says the sketchiest thing ever said to a person: You take out your money here while I go ahead, and I'll come back and tell you how much it is."

So I'm like nope.avi.jpeg.mp4.gif and I say: "How about I just give you the money here?"

And he's like seriously?

And I'm like yeah, and I give him a 20$ and beat a hasty retreat.

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Apr. 9th, 2012

  • 11:42 PM
pridefall: (Only Data Streams | Tron)
Back from PAX East!

I am so fucking tired, and now I still have homework to do. And my roommate's dog just peed on me -- awesome start to coming back to the real world! And poetic, too.

Talk to you guys soon~

- Ian

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Mar. 19th, 2012

  • 4:01 PM
pridefall: (Only Data Streams | Tron)
life in bullet points;

» I found out that I literally cannot watch the office because of how badly I feel secondhand embarrassment for everything the character Michael Scott does. It's to the point where I have to leave the room whenever he gets really bad.

» I sold the last bit of Gamesworkshop merchandise I had -- a 4000+ point Skaven army -- for over 400$ on ebay. It's about half as much as I originally put into the thing, but, hey, the market decides right?

» My step-dad went out an bought me the same laptop I had without...even...telling me he was going to do such a thing, so I should be back to normal status by the weekend.

» dropped Lucifer from sirenspulls, and am still playing Peter Parker there. Still have Naruto at Mayfield, too, and CnC accepted my Alucard application. Ballin'.

» Fixed my PSP, so I'm giving another try at beating Star Ocean: First Departure, Persona 3 Portable, Crimson Gem Saga, and Jeanne D'arc.

» Beat Mass Effect 3 and Disgaea 3 this weekend, and only one of the endings between the two games actually made me feel satisfied. (Hint: It's not the one by the American developer.)

» Finally handed over the money my friend needed for our rooms at PAX East, so everything's set for the trip in a few weeks. Feels double good, man.

» Kind of stalled on the writing front, but I think that's from Mass Effect 3 gameplay and general laziness. I'll definitely try to write at least 100 words tonight or more, just to start.

» i'm currently reading: naruto, ao no exorcist, the amazing spider-man, teen titans, men at arms (discworld), batman & robin, batman, red hood and the outlaws, wolverine and the x-men, uncanny x-men, anything else with x-noun in the title.

» i'm currently watching: castle, how i met your mother, and sailor moon.

» i'm currently playing: heroes of newerth, star ocean: the first departure, tales of the abyss (WHICH I FINALLY FOUND AFTER 4 YEARS OF LOOKING), and crimson gem saga

» I've gotten a bit sick, and I'm really tired today. Ugh. And now it's time to go to class.


What's up with you guys?

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Mar. 9th, 2012

  • 11:10 AM
pridefall: (You ruined it noncoolkid | Dave)
My roommate rescued a puppy without ACTUALLY running the idea by me first.

Awesome.

He went so far as saying that he felt lonely because I wasn't there, and hinted that his psychologist might've told him to get one -- or encouraged the idea, at least -- to combat his depression, but still. One day we have no puppy, and the next we have a two-month old mutt off the street that is just barely potty trained and so scared/excited of everything in the apartment that she still wets herself.

At least he was responsible enough to get her vaccinated/treated for worms/etc, etc, but still. He's had her for a day, and he left her in his room -- with food and water, and a place she "should" go pee" -- so he could go to class. A two month old stray.

Will wonders never cease?

Mar. 2nd, 2012

  • 5:04 PM
Posted my Alucard app, so we'll see what happens. I'm glad this week is over -- seriously, ffs having three tests and a quiz one day after another is draining as hell. And I don't enjoy the rumors I'm hearing about the student body, the professors, and my department in general. I have no desire to have another strike or even more academic shenanigans pop up before I graduate.

Anyway, I'm still writing, which is always good. I've gotten into the habit of writing at least a little bit every day, and alternating between writing one chapter of original fiction and one chapter of fanfiction seems to be doing the trick when it comes to combating my ADD.

Uh.

That's about it, I guess. Unless aanyone feels like reading chapter one of either fic to beta them.

Feb. 21st, 2012

  • 4:48 PM
life in bullet points;

» playing uzumaki naruto @ mayfield, and both lucifer morningstar and peter parker @ sirenspull. don't have enough time to play Gambit @ posthumans, so I'll probably idle out. sigh. loving mayfield, it's so much fun. need to think up of posts for sp

» my classes are all really boring this semester. i've read all of Shakespeare's plays since highshcool, and this'll be my third or fourth time doing some of them again. my american lit survey course is boring as hell too, because the time period is all bluh buh bluh religion and mormons and boring buttfuck boringness. there's a reason there's so little diversity in what's available to study (in english) after Paradise Lost -- most of it is either religious propaganda or boring. so boring. (re: utopian literature.)

» whoops my spanish lit and film professor just asked me a question and I didn't know the answer -- sigh. i only understand about 3/4ths of what's going on in this class, even when i do the side-reading she wants. fml.

» since i'm...not...really being challenged in any of my classes this semester, i've gone back to writing during class time. I've currently finished chapter 8 of that one story i'm writing about the kid who hunts ghosts to get through college, and I've started a naruto fanfic about what happens after the manga, when Naruto still hasn't brought Sasuke back and needs to teach a team of genin erstwhile. yeah. it's the first fanfic i've actually sat down and started to write in years.

» i'm currently reading: naruto, ao no exorcist, the amazing spider-man, teen titans, men at arms (discworld), batman & robin, batman, red hood and the outlaws, wolverine and the x-men, uncanny x-men, anything else with x-noun in the title.

» i'm currently watching: castle, how i met your mother, initial d, guilty crown, and rewatching firefly since my girlfriend never saw it.

» i'm currently playing: heroes of newerth, kingdoms of amalur: reckoning, sengoku rance, legacy of kain: blood omen 2, and disgaea 3.


What's up with you guys?

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