May. 3rd, 2012

  • 6:24 AM
pridefall: (Only Data Streams | Tron)
Am I a terrible person for wanting to have my cake and eat it, too?

Or am I simply not meant to ever be happy with one thing.

Greed is what it is, plain and simple.

Stupid, selfish greed.

I want what I shouldn't want, and have what every man should dream about.

She's what feels like my soul-mate; the girl I want to marry and have kids with someday.

But I don't think I can be tied down.

I don't think -- it feels like I don't want to be tied down.

I read a book by Warren Ellis once, where one of the characters described herself as a dog. She said something like: "I love you, I truly do. But you can't tie me down. I won't let you. The most I can promise is that I'll come home every night, no matter how far I wander."

And it sounds so stupid when I say it outside my head.

But I think she might be right.

This isn't poetry.

It was greed. We talked, we cried and yelled and she hit me at one point, but we're good now. Stronger than ever. I wouldn't trade her for anything else in the world.