May. 3rd, 2014

  • 1:34 AM
day 110;
call myself Batman,
but unfamiliar ceilings
are the only dark nights I know.

day 111;
(Low C)-G-G-G (I still
E-A-Open-A (Recall the taste)
E-(Low)C-(Low)C-(Open-Low)C (of your tears)

Apr. 5th, 2014

  • 11:56 PM
pridefall: (an atheist in hell | John Constantine)
day 107;
a staircase on the Empire State:
conquer it and you'll feel invincible;
but so many call it quits in the middle.

day 108;
roses for love;
potatoes for commitment;
--but everything rots.

day 109;
reptiles don't know love,
and everyone calls them ugly.
maybe it's in the blood?

Mar. 5th, 2014

  • 11:06 PM
pridefall: (Only Data Streams | Tron)
;day 101
i was going to write
yet another tired, lonely poem
a lovesick poem, a nothing poem,
a poem missing thought;
but i am sick and tired,
of tired, lonely poems.

day 102;
so this poem comes next,
and the one after as well;
each a promise to myself that--

day 103;
--i have wasted enough of my time;
destroyed enough paper;
drank down enough ink and sleepless nights,
in trying to forget you.

day 104;
you: who are imperfect.
myself: who is imperfect
our "self" -- a collection of fading scars.

day 105;
my poetry is not your poetry;
these are your last words,
as they come out of my mouth:

day 106;
I have emptied myself of you.

Dec. 24th, 2013

  • 3:32 PM
pridefall: (the fox with no hound | Gin)
Day 97;

I know your day by how we text:
this subtle dance of fingertips.
past twelve pm is work, no fun;
is redone hair in bathroom stalls:
quick joke, i'll flirt, come on: let's ditch;
i'm bored, you're bored, we need a fix;
then one comes 'round--am this time,
and look at us: the perfect crime:
you call, he's gone; i'll cross the street,
we'll make amends; rewind repeat;
and stay best friends; discrete deceit;
cuz when he calls, your face goes red,
and there I am:
with you,
in bed.

Dec. 23rd, 2013

  • 12:47 AM
pridefall: (Only Data Streams | Tron)
Day 94, reversed
And when did you realize
Sunlight in her eyes
Was all you wanted to see?

Day 95, reversed
I fell for her between
Two disparate points on a map
Her laughter my meridian.

Day 96,
My mind is a landfill:
It reeks of his name in your throat;
This fucking garbage I never asked for.

Dec. 19th, 2013

  • 11:53 PM
pridefall: (Here I lay my Burdens Down | Art)
Day 91;
It's how I felt about you, written down a thousand thousand thousand times, bad habits of diction breaking every law and convention for poetry. It's this poem, here and now: a tapestry of half-explanation, of looking for honeyed eyes and pouting lips, brown hair like waves like oceans like endless cliches (like snakes, I'd say now, to you--but never aloud) and it's three nights spent sleepless staying up late, so very fucking late, changed my ringtone so I'd catch your text, your call, your table-scraps of emotion like the thirsty drowning man I am.

Because I want/ed to drown in you; be with you; be everything to you--and babe, you said: "Honey, we're speaking two languages here: lovestuck and numb, boy loves girl-girl hates love, and there's no poem long enough to translate the differences."

But lord, how I'm trying.

Day 91, and lord--how I'm trying.

Dec. 19th, 2013

  • 11:45 PM
pridefall: (Only Data Streams | Tron)
day 90;
we are redwoods before the storm,
cars and people locked in traffic jams;
oh, Christ; we are devoured by sunlight.

Day 91, Reversed;
You are a painting in my mind:
Cliff-face and ocean; clear blue sky.
Shoulders and spine ramrod straight.

Day 92, Reversed;
No, you are not a painting.
A photograph, perhaps;
Clarity yet waiting to develop.

Day 93, Reversed;
--A metaphor, an aftertaste;
The taste of rain and embers:
A page in a notebook, filled.

Day 94, Reversed;
A thousand words, a thousand similes;
I write, and write, and write;
Knowing every letter is your echo

Day 95, Reversed;

Dec. 17th, 2013

  • 12:59 AM
pridefall: (an atheist in hell | John Constantine)
Day 89;
I was going to write another poem
bleed myself a little dryer for you,
but goddamn it all; just goddamn;
I'm just so fucking tired,
and these three line benedictions,
reach nowhere but cyberspace.

Day 90;
its like male mermaids;
they exist on the periphery:
a tragic, logical consequence.

Day 91;
he called her "girlfriend," today,
and i should have never seen it;
but hey, what do i know about secrets?

Day 92;
it's knowing stars are:
billions of year dead when you see them,
and wishing you felt the same way, too.

Day 93;
you have ruined:
music, television,
books, artists, songs,
streets, restaurants, places;
my room, my home;
my body, my mind;
nearly everything in this podunk town;
taken of me things i can never have back,
will never want back;
but i left you first,
and that somehow makes it okay?

Day 94;
how dare you
i was just treading water;
so why shove me down?

Dec. 16th, 2013

  • 3:02 PM
pridefall: (an atheist in hell | John Constantine)
Day 88;
Six months;
Two months;
Eight months; done.

Dec. 11th, 2013

  • 8:50 PM
pridefall: (But that would make sense | Spider-man)
Day 82;

Your love sickens me.
Drives me insane.
Die. Die. Die. Die.

Day 83,
Like a bulimic gaining weight;
An addict with nothing but time;
I am emptying myself of you.

Dec. 10th, 2013

  • 7:47 PM
pridefall: (an atheist in hell | John Constantine)
Day 80;

The purpose of Ritalin:
Memory, organization, thought process;
I forwent a refill.

Dec. 9th, 2013

  • 10:37 PM
pridefall: (the saddest icon I have | art)
Day 76;
You are less than a gigabyte,
a bump of memory smaller than
the effort it takes to delete you.

Day 77;
So fundamentally lazy,
And it's my only saving grace;
Suicide is just more work

Dec. 8th, 2013

  • 5:38 PM
pridefall: (Here I lay my Burdens Down | Art)
Day 75;

los elefantes nunca olvidan
ni carros o montaƱas; huesos rotos;
recuerdos son un cementerio.

Dec. 8th, 2013

  • 4:01 PM
pridefall: (fml intensely | Naota)
Day 72;

it's crawling away
at a snail's pace
into oncoming traffic.

day 73;

"Look upon my life, all-mighty
and despair."

Day 74;

i drive down residential streets;
seventy-eighty-ninety-miles an hour;
still waiting for a punchline

Dec. 5th, 2013

  • 4:33 PM
pridefall: (the fox with no hound | Gin)

Day 71;
it's speaking two languages half-fluently,
code-switching between constantly:
half of what you think never makes sense.

Dec. 5th, 2013

  • 4:14 PM
pridefall: (Piss off | Soubi)

Day 70
It's a library filled with
Age and dust and water damage;
None of the stories make sense

Day 71
It's judging who they're with,
Who they fuck; who you love:
Someone has to lose.

day 69;
i am trying to forget you in pieces:
the honey of your eyes,
the sunrise on your skin.

Day 69 reversed;
how our legs entwined;
the way we never kissed:
ghosts of more I cherished in passing.

Day 66

Day 67
Family is a metaphor for selfishness.

a girl like you, you'd do terrible things
make me believe in myself like
everything i am could be more
than what i'm not;
you make me think there's more
that life don't end or begin;
we're all solid reverb,
just wild vibrations of stars and stories,
and honey your smile is music:
a song i've heard before,
but still excites me

Day 62, reversed
We never kissed,
But I find myself:
Strange-happy-weird-punch-drunk at dawn;
Wondering where 3am went;
I am a moth to her name:
Endlessly turning,
A record all groove:
Repeating, repeating;
Emphasis at the end,
And I've been repeating,
Repeating her name,
Tasting it between my teeth,
On my tongue,
between my lips
Sort of kind of maybe like--

I'll get it right eventually.

Day 63
And just like that:
I can breathe without you.

od's Author's Note to Your Life:

This book will be as long as you make it.
It will have many ups and downs.
You will laugh and cry,
Gain and lose many, many things;
But, not to spoil the ending for you?
Everything will be okay,
In the end.

Nov. 30th, 2013

  • 3:39 AM
pridefall: (the fox with no hound | Gin)
day 67
ella no es la luna,
ni el mar; sol y las estrellas;
mi universo no consiste de:
personas que son palabras,
conceptos sustituidos por nombres;
las mujeres no son objetos;
por lo tanto:
no puedo perderla,
tenerla; perderme en ella;
sus ojos no son ventanas,
no veo el futuro en ella;
y su cuerpo:
ni catedral, ni laberinto;
cada grieta dentro ella,
no es mi problema,
porque ella no es objeto,
ni yo, carpintero.

Nov. 8th, 2013

  • 6:51 PM
pridefall: (Here I lay my Burdens Down | Art)
Day 59
Alcohol is a gateway;
Free passage 'cross the river Styx,
and I've many coins for Charon.

Day 60
She smokes incessantly;
a regular chimney of oppression,
and I've forgotten how to breathe for myself.

Nov. 2nd, 2013

  • 2:23 AM
pridefall: (fml intensely | Naota)
day 56;
i tried to write a poem,
but all i ended doing
was stare at your picture.

day 57;
Peter Pan is dead.
You killed him.
Tick-tock; tick-tock.

day 58;

You n'that black dress / now I'm obsessed / a fuckin' mess / and every night's another test / all my best / your excess / but i detest / how i can't hold down like all the rest / and I confess / I want regrets / gonna fuck us past this loneliness / no more guess / just one last yes / gonna fuck us past this loneliness

Rip it out / all this doubt / still don't know what you're about / and I'm a clown / a fuckin' joke / your heart attack around my throat / I cant say shit / like you're a bitch / so here's to drinking loneliness / and every night, a little more / cuz punch-drunk love has got me bored / and all my needs; I adore / you and me, across the floor / spent and sighing; more and more.

Oct. 27th, 2013

  • 12:45 AM
pridefall: (the fox with no hound | Gin)
Day 53;
I am reaching toward you;
You are the moon, the sun; all stars;
My hand? An eclipse.

Day 54;
I'd sooner collapse on the floor,
Than through your front door;
It promised it missed me more

day 55;
i don't wish you the best;
fuck you, fuck you
fuck you.